In the process of co-founding and leading Apple to becoming such a premier company, Steve Jobs needed to learn many things. But, learning to delegate was probably one of the toughest things for him to learn. Known to his colleagues as an obsessive control freak, he was forever involved in the micro details of every aspect of product development, engineering, aesthetics, marketing, etc. But, somehow, he just had to let go and create space for his extraordinary fellow visionaries to bring their magic to the tasks at hand at Apple. He did and Apple became so enormously successful.

So what does this have to do with caregiving? Hint: everything.

Try this belief on for size: I’m the only one who can be trusted to take care of my loved one; there is no task, even a small one, that I can entrust to someone else.
1(Not Me!)…………………………………………………10(Yes, this is me!)
…
On this scale, where would you place yourself?

If you are anywhere from a “6” to a “10”, I believe you are at risk of burning out.

And let me be blunt. If you do burn out, you will be doing what you’re so determined not to do: abandoning your loved one. Let’s agree that is not going to happen. You’re determined not to let it happen. So read on for some practical steps you can take now to put your determination into action. If Steve Jobs was able to do this, you certainly can.

But first, try on some new beliefs that can boost your chances of doing this successfully:

• I am capable and resourceful enough to find other people who will help to lighten the load I am carrying.
1…………………………………………………………………………………………………10

• There are people who care about me and my loved one who will love to do things for us that we need.
1………………………………………………………………………………………………….10

• I am truly helping my loved one by finding ways to keep me healthy and resilient.
1………………………………………………………………………………………………….10

Where would you place yourself on each of these on a scale of “1” to “10?”

Now a few tips to get started:

1. Think of the things on your “to do” list today. Find one or two which are straightforward simple tasks to do e.g. picking up meds at the pharmacy, dropping off books at the library, walking the dog, picking up the cleaning.
2. Choose one thing and think of someone close by who could have done that one thing.
3. Create a “to do” list for tomorrow. Do the same thing of identifying simple tasks and thinking of someone whom you can ask to do it.
4. Reach out and ask them – giving them a day in advance to get it done.
5. Appreciate them.
6. Appreciate yourself for beginning to lighten your load.
7. Repeat this action tomorrow and the next day.
8. Continue to appreciate your helpers and yourself.
9. You’re on your way!!!!

There are certainly always going to be things that only you can handle. But the more you can strip away the things that others can take on, the lighter your load will be and the healthier and more resilient you will be.

So as you may well be enjoying many of the gifts that Steve Jobs left as his legacy, let yourself receive this one – delegating – as your own special one.